To all our beloved NRI's out there...

To all our beloved NRI's out there...
Get your black asses home you motherfuckers!! What makes y'all think y'all can live it up on the outside and tell lovely stories of your beloved homeland while we rot in this shit hole!!

Ok, maybe i'm exaggeratin...NO I'M NOT!!! This place IS a shit hole! To be fair though, i am in goa which is pretty much the pinnacle of western civilisation here...it doesnt get bettter than this, and i know it gets a whole lot worse. Lik for people lik Lok, who have to live in the pockets of resistance to civilisation,(Belgaum, Karnataka. Better known as Yellappa-land.) as he himself so aptly put it. For those of you who havent heard the latest from back home...here are some titbits to bring you upto date, comprised mostly of news items that have caught my attention over the past couple o months.

First off, Laloo LOST!! Ok breathe, i know, the bastard has been in power since we were like 5 yrs old and he finally managed to squander it...social justice my flabby arse!! I mean, everybody thought it was gonna be just another bihari election.........!!

Anyhow, on a more serious note, more along the lines of tragic actually, the supreme court actually went ahead and upheld the ban by the U.P. govt on the slaughter of cows in the state!! When the SC itself starts infringing our freedom, we're in some deep shit!! These are supposed to be educated people whom we trust our civil freedom to and this is what we get. Someone ought to slaughter these sons of bitches!! what kind of 'democracy' are we runnin where we aren't even free to eat what we want!? Fuck your religious sentiments you dickheads, we aren't forcing you to eat it!! And so we succumb to mob rule in this shit hole...

Speaking of bans, i'm sure you all heard of the ban on dance bars in maharashtra...yet another unchallenged revocation of our allegedly fundamental right to practice any trade in any part of the country. There was no legal basis for it, just the reason given for it was the atmosphere of obscenity and vulgarity that was presnt in the estabilishment. What the fuck were you doin in the dance bar, you fuck!! Go home to your fat wife! Let the women dance, let the fuckers gawk, let everyone be! But no! We have to indulge in moral policing because the modesty of the public was being outraged...despite the fact that they were free not to visit the bars!!

While we're on the subjuct of moral policing, allow me to reiterate how glad i am to be in goa....while the shiv sena have single handedly managed to take bombay(i will not call it mumbai!!) back to the stone ages, where even holding hands in public is a crime, and you will be arrested by the police and if you're a girl, raped by them too.(three cases in the past two months:the girl in the chowky at marine drive; the ragpicker girl near sahar airport; the dancebar girl at nerul.)
For a while it looked like the southern states might be our last bastion of freedom, until the Indian Express came out with their exposee on just how the backward tyrannical section of society is terrorising the rest of our people in order to 'maintain the chastity of our culture'.(in chennai, you stand to be arrested for dancin in a club, and everyone heard how the poor couple that indulged in a liplock on the floor were hounded lik they were criminals)

In similar news, two rapists,- i'm sorry, two CONVICTED rapists were let off without jailtime and just probation on 'humanitarian' grounds as they had families to look after (and daughters to rape). Awwww!! Aint that just the sweetest thing you ever heard!! But you aint heard the sweetest part yet...it was the same judge in both cases!! No, you STILL aint heard the sweetest part......wait for it...................wait for it...............................wait for it......................................wait for it....the judge was a WOMAN!! How do you expect to survive when your own kind scheme against you?!

And so, as our people keep killing, maiming and raping each other we all sincerely hope that y'all are havin fun out there...we wish you itchy balls and short hands, as well as periods in the middle of your workday when you're wearing white pants..

love and kisses(abuse and curses)
muaaaaaaaaaaah!