Mens Underwear....

This one draws inspiration from Keith’s lil article...

SO.... couple of months ago.... was out with a friend pickin up last minute stuff before he joined the merchant navy the day after.... last item on the list...tighty whiteys...apparently a mandatory requirement in the navy! (Did not know this!!)

Anyhoo.... so we're in the underwear dept of this dept store and I turn around and there's this whole rack dedicated to thongs! Might I remind you that we're in the MENS underwear section.... a fact that has slipped my mind as soon as I read the word ‘thongs’. So I move in for a closer look, and my perversion is rewarded with a whole row of rather heavily muscled (read, lumpy) men, in the female porn star pose (ass toward camera, bent forward and lookin back at camera).

As you can imagine, not exactly the most pleasant situation...

Now, I might sound rather old-fashioned, maybe even a little redundant, even so far as slightly bigoted, but I’m starting a bit of a list here of some stuff that is best left to women.... for the simple reason that it looks better on them...

• Thongs...No one wants to see a guys arse hangin out, however much you might enjoy the feel of fabric riding up yours...lets face it, as far as ass goes (and it definitely doesn’t end there), women have a natural and obvious advantage.
• Breasts....boobs, tits, jugs, knockers,...call em what you want...(although I’m kinda breakin this rule myself :D)
• Tight jeans...C'mon man! Nobody wants to see the outline of your package/(sock)! However proud you might be of it!
• Tight clothes of any sort actually... shirts, t-shirts, shorts...anything.
• Short stuff...shirts, t-shirts, shorts...
• Translucent, transparent stuff... all you 'man-things' that fancy yourselves chiseled out of marble...seriously...
• Low Riders… Seriously! Your crotch hair and butt crack: definitely NOT on my “Things to see before I die” list! Wear boxers, it’s the least you could do!
• Jewellery… Earrings, nose rings, nipple rings, the big-ass finger rings, the hubcap sized medallions….etc etc

Ok, so cant think of any more right now….feel free to add to the list though…

Of Catholics, Christians, Jews and Muslims.

Of Catholics, Christians, Jews and Muslims.

Short Story: Final game of the state basketball championships; everybody’s looking to the star player. The pressure is not really something to be scoffed at…and so he goes to a quiet corner, drops to his knees and prays, begging the good lord to let his team win…promising never to miss a practice session again, to get his grades up, to be a better person in general…
This time, the good lord actually answers! He tells the player, that he’d really love it if he did all the stuff that he promised, but at the same time, the other team was also asking for the same thing… How can the good lord play favourites?
So he offers him a compromise…he offers to make the game an honourable one, to make all the calls fair and all the decisions accurate.

Ok, kinda corny i know, but i did like it. Read that story somewhere, cant remember where right now, but it brings me to the title of this post..

I look around today and realize that the majority of the major conflicts today are between Christians, Jews and Muslims. And all are because all of us are cocksure that ours is the penultimate one true path.

The Muslim extremists are itching to slap a jehad on the infidels for the glory ofAllah…Our Catholic fanatics are just as willing to slaughter anyone that doesnot submit to the glory of “Our Father” and to protect their children form "Zionist propaganda". And the Jews are ready willing and able to annihilate anyone who so much as thinks of laying a finger on them. (In their defence though, they never start anything, although they have no qualms about finishing it.)

But I read somewhere, that if we were to trace back the the lineage of all three religions we come to one common ancestor: Abraham. And we’re all fighting for the alleged ‘glory’ of the same god, Abrahams god.

What the heck makes us think that any God, will help some of his people annihilate the others…? That we're his favourite? Maybe instead of praying for victory, we should be looking for tolerance...

Terrorism

Terrorism:

This is in response to the post of the same title on leopolds.blogspot .com.

"REVENGE!!" he cries!!
The world wants revenge!
India wants revenge!!
"All your nuclear weapons, your missiles, your tanks, come to nought when you don't have the steel in your soul to defend yourself and your subjects -- at any cost.
Has the Indian State done this? Ever?"
His exact words if I’m not mistaken...

My question at this point is...revenge against whom?
"The terrorists of course!!"
Really? And who are they?
This is the part where every one seems to get stumped.
Lets take the train blasts that you were ranting about. Who exactly do we want to crucify. Or do we pick a scapegoat just because somebody has to go down for it? I KNOW!! Lets catch all these bastards with beards and slaughter them, innocence irrelevant… Oh but I read that they always shave off all body hair in preparation for the entry into heaven….so lets slaughter all the clean shaven fuckers too. But there are a lot of average people who help them also, so lets slaughter them too!! Woohoo!! BLOODBATH!!

You want revenge. But it’s real easy to sit on the flat of your arse and talk. Who do you wanna strike back at? Where exactly do you plan to fire your missiles and all your other phallic symbols and paraphernalia? Hasn’t anyone heard o the expression “You can’t hit what you can’t see!”

“Israel attacked Lebanon for killing two of its soldiers.”
This is apparently his idea of a comparison to India. Who exactly do you wanna go to war with? Pakistan? You know what, lets just consider that for a bit. We launch your big bad nukes , they nuke us right back….who do you think stands to lose more? You honestly wanna try that? You wanna go to war? Are you willing to put your sons and daughters in the line of fire?

“I cannot but notice that the United States of America, after its attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq has not faced any terrorist attack since 9/11.”
Really? And why do you suppose that is? Because they went to war? Moron!! Doesn’t it occur to you to stop and ask how exactly they knew to attack Afghanistan? What the US of A has is the CIA. The best intelligence agency in the world, second only to The Mossad, which is the Israeli intelligence agency! THAT is what this country needs. Not some trigger-happy idiot who wants to gun down everything that moves. Think about it. The world didn’t know Osama even existed till The USA announced that he was behind 9/11 and that they were planning on going after him. And they went after him tooth and nail. It’s not about using your fists just because you have them. Your fists are of no use if you don’t have eyes.

And as much as you may wanna deride it, peace is your only viable option. The best way to combat it is to cut funding to countries supporting terror…cut off all trade avenues…make sure that nothing gets in or out without us knowing about it.
They weren’t twiddlin when they said, “Knowledge is Power".

Men are from mars....

Again, somethin i got in the mail, that i think is hilarious...

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a
sense of humour!


"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart....

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for
each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b*tch
knows I'm smarter than her..

Fuck!

Just somethin i got in the mail the other day. I personally think its hilarious....

"Fuck"


In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories:

It can be used as a verb, both transitive "John fucked Mary" and intransitive "Mary was fucked by John"

It can be an action verb "John really gives a fuck" a passive verb "Mary really doesn't give a fuck" an adverb "Mary is fucking interested in John" or as a noun "Mary is a terrific fuck"

It can also be used as an adjective "Mary is fucking beautiful" or an interjection "Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary"

It can even be used as a conjunction "Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid"

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".

Apart from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."

3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"

4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."

5. Aggression "FUCK YOU!"

6. Disgust "Fuck me."

7. Confusion "What the fuck.......?"

8. Difficulty "I don't understand fucking Maths!"

9. Despair "Fucked again..."

10. Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."

11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"

12. Lost "Where the fuck are we."

13. Disbelief "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!"

14. Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"

15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it."

16. Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."

17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

18. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"

19. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"

20. Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."

21. Directions "Fuck off."

22. Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used...

...in an anatomical description "He's a fucking asshole."

....to tell time "It's five fucking thirty."

....in business "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

...maternal "Motherfucker."

....political "Fuck Dan Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history :

Mayor of Hiroshima "What the fuck was that?"

General Custer "Where did all these fucking Indians come from?"

Captain of the Titanic "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"

John Lennon "That's not a real fucking gun."

Richard Nixon "Who's gonna fucking find out?"

Anne Boleyn "Heads are going to fucking roll."

Willard Scott "It's someone's 100th fucking birthday today!"

Albert Einstein "Any fucking idiot could understand that."

Picasso "It does so fucking look like her!"

Pythagoras "How the fuck did you work that out?"

Michaelangelo "You want what on the fucking ceiling?"

Walt Disney "Fuck a duck."

Edmund Hilary "Why? Because its fucking there!"

Joan of Arc "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"

Donald Trump "She wants how much fucking money?!?!?"

Orville Reddenbacher "Look! Almost every fucking kernel popped!"

Jim Lovell (captain of Apollo 13) "Huston, We have a fucking problem!!"

When Will This End

Song of the moment: Korn-When will this end.[modified][it aint your fault]

"When Will This End"
Spinning inside rotting away
Something inside of me has been taken away
Feeling my heart breaking in vain
It won't get better now
When will this end?

I can't seem to get away
I feel I'm here so you can play
With my head
There's nothing I can say
I keep feeling like I'm to blame
When will this end?

Hopeless inside alone as I wait
Brewing inside of me enduring this hate
Feeling my heart breaking in vain
It won't get better now
When will this end?

I can't seem to get away
I feel I'm here so you can play
With my head
There's nothing I can say
I keep feeling like I'm to blame
When will this end?

The stress is rising and I can't seem to get away from you
I'm always trying and the my lying always shines right thru

My God I hate this
Always take shit
Can I let this go on?
Why can't I break this
I just take this
As this goes on and on
End!!
When will this end?

I can't seem to get away
I feel I'm here so you can play
With my head
There's nothing I can say
I keep feeling like I'm to blame
When will this end?

So what can i say....another day another mistake. Oh well....divert energy and emotions....i believe the psychological term is projection....lots more bloggin to do.

If i survive

Breathing shallow,I'm slipping away.
Hanging in the gallows,I'm starting to pray.
How careful it was planned to do away with me;
So kill me if you can,But words won't make be bleed.
So what if I survive,And live to tell the truth?
Imagine my surprise,To find me living and so very much alive!

I'll find a new life and hide,If I survive.
But I swear you're going down if I survive!

I'll find a new life and hide if I survive.
I'll find my own place in time if I survive.
I'll learn to forget the crime if I survive...
But I swear you're going down if I survive!

If I survive I'll tell on you.
If I survive I'll tell on you.
If I survive I'll tell on you.
If I survive I'll tell on you....


It rained today. Well, last night actually. But its all wet and cloudy now. The monsoon is settin in. And with it is the depression that sets in around this time every year. Looks like this year will be a repeat of last year and the year before that. Not pleasant.

A lot of memories of late. Different stuff....none of it particularly uplifting. I'm two weeks into my vacations and this already feels like a terminal depression. Maybe i should start walking again. But even that brings back unpleasant flashbacks. But it also brings sleep.

Sad thing is i have nobody at which to direct this anger and frustration. No one to blame.....'cept maybe myself. I guess what i miss the most is not the person but the way it used to be. The conversation. The intelligent conversation. The company. Not the person. Where you're so comfortable, you can call at two in the mornin just to chat. Or be called and not be upset....just rather nice to hear that voice. And to be reminded of it.....is like a slap in the face....a sort of divine taunt. To meet someone again. Smart. Probably smarter. Prettier. Wittier. And the muted wickedness. How i thrive on the wickedness!! :-) And to have it taken away. To realise it just slipped through your fingers. Your fault. Grow up move on. Shouldnt be as tough as the last time. Not gonna let history repeat itself again. Not this time. If i survive.

Rabbits Foot

Been a while since the last post....around three months or so? Well I'm back....Let the ranting begin!! :D So yeah....Last couple o months haven't been terribly productive, but then again they haven't been allthat bad either....so cant complain.....but i will anyway. :D

You know, over the last few months, since somewhere in oct-nov, I have turned into this goodluck charm for women. Well as far as their love lives are concerned anyway. One BIG BLOODY RABBITS FOOT!! I aint kiddin! I swear, I ought to be sainted by some sorority or something! I'm serious, y'all miserable? Single and don't wanna be? Still waitin fer Mr. Right to make an entrance? Or just lookin to get laid? PLEASE, come meet me!! Cos i swear, Within three weeks o meeting me, Mr. Right will be houndin you, old boyfriends will suddely realise what a horrible mistake they have made, friends boyfriends will bring around 'oh so cute' friends to meet you, you'll have the option o pickin which guy you wanna bang for each different night o the week....you get the drift. Ofcourse, I'd be horribly mistaken to think I'D be any one o those guys! Its like any woman that i take an interest in, automatically becomes REALLY REALLY HOT, or just gets plain ol lucky. Hell, nevermind take an interest in, any woman i dont find outright repulsive!

Situation 1:
{Insert your name here}:Hi, I'm , SO n SO's friend.
Me:Hey nice to meet you, what do you do?...... conversation continues......
Three weeeks later....

{Insert your name here}:Oh! you'll never guess what happened last night!!
Me:(sinkin feeling in stomach)Yeah? What? {Insert your name here}:OH i was at SO n SO's party, and I was talkin to and i guess we both musta been a little drunk, but then in the middle o my sentence he leans over and kisses me!! Blah blah blah........ blah blah blah....... Aren't you happy for me!! {big fuckin 'life is so beautiful'grin}
Me:YEAH!! {turn around, gouge out left eye, insert index finger into socket, swirl brains around, replace eyeball in socket, turn back around}TOTALLY!! {nice convincing fake smile}

So yeah....Call me....

Enigma...

Greetings all!! Still recovering from another boring new year here. Nothin to report really. Been really bored n restless these past couple o days, cos i no longer have anything to look forward to!! Waaaaaaaah!! So while i'm on this stupid kick, i'd like to present an enigma to anyone who cares....this is especially dedicated to Keith.
Anyone who knows me personally has probably already heard this many times already but anyway...

Remember Peter Gallagher in the movie 'While You Were Sleepin' ? (Atleast i think that was his name.....i have a fuckall memory.) Sandra Bullock convinces his family that she is his fiancee by tellin them how he lost a testicle....or somethin lik that. Now i was wonderin...See, if say you were to lose your left ball, would your right ball still be your right ball? I mean what would it be to the right of? Would it be just your ball?

And so on that note of stupidity, i shall sign off. Happy New Year to all!!

My Friend The Poet

This was written by a friend that claims he cant write.....


the worlds been spinnin around since time began
when it stops is out of my hands
so i cud swear forever for all its worth,
or give you every day i have on earth

no matter if theres mountains you cant move
or harder times that you thought you'd go thru
when the weight of your worlds too much to bear
just remember i'll always be there

the moon n stars arent mine to given
either is eternity
but i'll give you a promise tonite
that i can keep

long as i live, long as i breathe
every heart beat, i'll need you near me
i won't leave you behind
til the lord says its time
go with me, i'm yours
long as i live

You got talent son!!