Ode to the Nice Guys

Found this on the blog of one Rajesh Advani.http://rja.blogspot.com/2004/11/so-what-is-it-that-women-want-again.html Sorry to have plagerised it, but it was too beautiful to pass up!! A lot of women i know could learn a great deal frm this article!!




Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal


This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.

This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support.

This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it.

This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!).

But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen.

Brings tears to your eyes doesn't it!? *sniff* *sniffle*

Morals...Storm In A Teacup?

First off, you need to know this has no relation to the previous post entitled "To all our beloved NRI's out there."

Secondly, My apologies to the readers, cos i started this blog to post actual intellectual debates and discussions, but of late i have been using it to a personal effect. Well, its still my blog, and i can do what i want with it, so, any o you that have a problem with that, can take your prob, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways (for max effect) and shove it up your arses!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Fuckers!

Hmmm....Now that i got that outta my system...This is more along the lines of Personal Morals...Let me give you a situation: Your friend is studyin out of station. Pretty close friend, maybe best. More or less decent guy. He asks you to look after his girl cos he's not around most o the time...And you indulge. Dangerous situation, no doubt, (she happens to be very, VERY hot!! Not the hottest but definitely top five...)but how do you say no to him!?!

So it begins, The couple of nights out that you take her along at his request....Then the msgs(dont you just love sms!?) back and forth(actual conversations, not fuckall forwards) and you begin to realise that she isn't the boring lil woman you thought she was. Not just another rich, spoilt socialite. There's actual brains under that wig! Then one day, msgs aren't enough, so you call. Hell you're sick of msgs anyway, you wanna see what she sounds like.....and the conversations continue....and you realise you relate to this girl better than anyone before her....she understands what you're sayin where almost everyone else is lost, she loves the same cartoons you did as a kid, the same tastes, likes, dislikes. Then one day while you're comparing nursery rhymes from kindergarten, reciting them aloud to each other...it slowly dawns on you...you're in love with her. Whispered warnings from other friends replay in your head. You've actually manged to fall in love with this woman over the phone!! How fucking dumb are you!!

Now comes the hard part... what do you do?!? Turn and run right? But he's not goin out with her anymore...actually its been more than a year since they broke up...oh sure, they're still rather good friends, but they did break up!! So now what!? Ask her out? You know you're dying to! Now she's the most beautiful woman you know(in real life anyway...). so whats stopping you? But what about him? He's a good friend too. And he was in love with her too. Probably still is,(He did ask you to look after her, didnt he? That must mean he still cares...right?) who can tell? Wouldnt that be an abuse of his trust? A knife in the back even?

So what do you do? You start playing Devils Advocate for him. Keep explainin away his mistakes, maybe she'll wanna get back together with him. Anything to justify you're presence here. Anything to ease your guilt, for having fallen for her. O'course you've never laid a finger on her, and you know you never will, but still.....
This is where you should walk out...explain it to her....she'll understand....she has always been very understanding.....right? But she accuses you of picing him over her if they ever had a fight. You know she's wrong. You need to stay to prove her wrong. But you need to leave to stay alive, cos this is very self destructive. But you cant!! You cant get out. You cant move on with your life. You cant even look at another woman cos of this irrational sense of disloyalty that smothers you with guilt everytime you do. So you stay. Neither here nor there. You cant 'have' her, but you can still keep her around. You'll never get 'there' with her, but you still love the way you feel when you're with her. Just bein around her is such a fucking thrill!! And you realise what a dope addict must feel like...kinda like a diseased lung...you know it is what is holding you back, you'll never be able to run free, but its also whats keeping you alive.

So back to the question at hand...how far do your morals really go? Its easier to say whats right and wrong when we have nothing to lose. But when you stand to lose the thing you want most at that moment? What about when everythin's goin against you because of your so called morals? Righteousness comes with a burden...maybe its easier to go with the crowd....your life would be a whole lot more fun. After all, whats a lil lost sleep compared to havin your dreams come true? Maybe you should have just picked her over him...she is closer to you now... you're not that close to him anymore....you've drifted. Maybe I'm just full of shit...

Fuck this shit...

(This has no reference to the couple mentioned in prior blog 'forever' This is another real couple though. Comments are requested.)

And tha riot be tha rhyme of tha unheard....

This is a song by Rage Against The Machine....Reflects a lot of my thinkin (though not exactly) on whats wrong with out social structure...

CALM LIKE A BOMB

Feel the funk blast
Feel the funk blast
Feel the funk blast
Feel the funk blast
Feel the funk blast
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, check it out, yo, yo, yo

I be walkin' god like a dog
My narrative fearless
My word war returns to burn
Like Baldwin home from Paris
Like Steel from a furnace
I was born landless
This is tha native son
Born of Zapata's guns
Stroll through tha shanties
And tha cities remains
Same bodies buried hungry
But with different last names
These vultures robbin everything
Leave nothing but chains
Pick a point on tha globe
Yes tha pictures tha same

There's a bank and a church
A myth and a hearse
A mall and a loan
A child dead at birth
There's a widow pig parrot
A rebel to tame
A whitehooded judge
A syringe and a vein

And tha riot be tha rhyme of tha unheard

what ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?

Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite


This ain't subliminal
Feel tha critical mass approach horizon
Tha pulse of tha condemned
Sound off America's demise
Tha anti-myth rhythm rock shocker
Yes I spit fire
Hope lies in tha smoldering rubble of empires
Yes back through tha shanties and tha cities remains
Tha same bodies buried hungry
But with different last names
These vultures rob everyone
Leave nothing but chains
Pick a point here at home
Yes tha picture's tha same

There's a field full of slaves
Some born and some debt
There's a ditch full of bodies
Tha check for tha rent
There's a tap, tha phone, tha silence of stone
Tha numb black screen
That be feelin' like home

And tha riot be tha rhyme of tha unheard

What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say, what?

Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm like a bomb
Ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite, ignite
Calm Like a bomb

There's a mass without roofs
There's a prison to fill
There's a country's soul that reads post no bills
There's a strike and a line of cops outside of tha mill
There's a right to obey
And there's a right to kill

There's a mass without roofs
There's a prison to fill
There's a country's soul that reads post no bills
There's a strike and a line of cops outside of tha millT
here's a right to obey
And there's a right to kill

Accidentally In Love...

This has to be one o my all time favourite songs...I know, kinda corny, but cant help myself!!
Plus its the story of my lovelife!! EVERY woman till now....you never know you're in love with her until its too late...so to all those women(actually there's just been three. yeah, wierd, i know.). Yeah they all knew i was in love with them...everyone should know they have been loved atleast once. Not talkin bout the everyday love you's tween friends, what i'm talkin bout is the insane, unstoppable, blinding, bitter, allforgiving, unconditional love...


So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love (love)
Think about it every timeI think about itCan't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on Turn a little faster
Come on, come on The world will follow after
Come on, come on Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming all this love
Melting under blue skies Belting out sunlight Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it But there's no escaping your love
These lines of lightning Mean we're never alone, Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come onMove a little closer
Come on, Come onI want to hear you whisper
Come on, Come on Settle down inside my love
Come on, come on Jump a little higher
Come on, come onIf you feel a little lighter
Come on, come on We were onceUpon a time in love
We're accidentally in love Accidentally in love
Accidentally
I'm In Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love,Accidentally
Come on, come onSpin a little tighter
Come on, come on And the world's a little brighter
Come on, come on Just get yourself inside her
Love ...I'm in love

Forever...

forever.

This is long overdue, and i've been meanin to do this for a long time but i haven't been able to word it to my satisfaction...but here goes. This is a shoutout to the people that have stood by me recently. people that had no obligation towards me, that stepped up when i needed it most, without me ever having to ask for it. Especially the couple mentioned in the prior blog entitled 'huh?'. its been, what, ten months almost!! It all began in march....

Let me start with the feminine half of the couple. No offense to the masculine, but you already know that she knew about it first. I honestly started msgn you only as an escape from the hellhole i was livin in, little did i know that it would work out this nicely (for me atleast!):-) I guess it was the circumstances at the time that helped. you were my escape and i was yours.(i hope) :-) I relate to you in a way and on a level that no one but you would understand. But thanks to you i was dragged out of my petty little existence, and i actually managed to put my tiny little problems into perspective....to think that i was whining about all my self fabricated 'problems' while i had no idea what you were dealing with!! You and yours have had more than anyones share of misfortune and then some! I can only hope for the kind of strength it must take to come through all of that with as much grace and optimism. When my world was fallin apart around me, you were the first and the only one who knew it was. There's no tellin where i'd have been if i didnt have you to talk to every day. There were days when it was all i had to look forward too. Thank you for putting up with the incessant msgn without once losing your patience! This is especially important cos i've had people get exasperated with me before and even jump to their own conclusions. And he'll probably hate me for saying this here and for the umpteenth time, but you've got the most amazing ass i have ever seen on any woman!!

Now on to the man. I dont remember if i explained but i spoke to her first, only cos i needed to talk to someone that was disconnected. I dont remember what prompted me to tell you about it too but i'm glad i did. With all the ribbing and everything, you helped to make sure i never took all this shit too seriously and lose perspective again. Also, it goes against every bone in my body to say this, and i do so grudgingly, but i admire you. Most guys should honestly take a cue from you, for anybody -correction- any guy that still cant take his eyes off of his woman(actually checkin her out!!) when they're out together, after TWO N'A HALF YEARS o being together, is someone worth knowing. (bet all you women are dying to know who this is!!) Kinda reinforces my faith in humanity....I've known couples that were so busy playin manipulative mind games with each other, just for the one-up-manship, in less than that time, that there was very little of the original relationship left. You're one of the few of us who are lucky enough to know what a wonderful woman they have on their hands. Try not to forget. and we both know you only need to screw up once and all bets are off, I'll be there to take your place faster than you can blink!! ;-) And last of all thanks for bein so cool bout the fact that she's such a good friend to me. a lot of people have gotten very paranoid and threatened with me around their women. I have no idea why though, i mean, have these guys noticed that i look like a wierder version of SHREK!?! And thanks for makin me do this by remindin me just how bekar i am all night. And finally man, she probably isn't gonna see this cos she isn't too net savvy, so do me a fav and show it to her when you get the chance? Thanks.

Anyhow, you two have pretty much have saved me from what would probably have been a terminal depression, or a serious drinkin problem. My world fell apart around me and you guys picked up the pieces for me. Everything i thought i 'knew' about so many people was revoked in an instant and you reinforced the fact that people are basically nice. Probably nice, anyway...
Its cos o y'all that i actually managed to muster up the courage to end my self imposed exile from the social circuit. Today i'm in a place where i no longer wish for my old life back....I realise how much better off i am now. I have no idea when i got here but I realised it only that sat night at titos. It dawns on me that i'd have had a good time even if she had shown up along with that prick. Especially since i had junior as my date!! ;-D

Now on to the other person. I don't think anyone even knew you were there for me! All the invites for those saturday nights have not been forgotten. They meant a lot! But you do know i had my reasons for refusing. It was nice to know that someone still cared that i wasn't around. That conversational allnighter played a great part in helping me let go of the past. You're a lot smarter than people give you credit for, especially in reference to the way you noticed that lil incident in may that we talked about. I was so sure that no one did. Thank you.

Also a shoutout to Keith, the smartest (and wierdest) man i have ever known. You, allbeit unwittingly, provided an escape from all this with the constant forwards and email updates, despite hardly ever gettin a reply from me. It didnot go unnoticed and will always be appreciated.

To all of you, I am here today, hale, hearty and headstrong as a result of your efforts. But I still have not been able to let go completely and there are fleeting moments when I do lose sight off all the good that you have brought about. I am still weak, and if by some freak of nature i should fall back, please forgive me. I know what its like to save a friend from something only to have them walk right into it again as soon as you're not around, and make you look like an idiot for sayin and doin what you did. And if you decided to walk, i'd understand, though it wouldn't change a thing here.

To all of you, i'd like to say that we'll be together forever, but ten months ago i would have said the same about other people. I know better now, and i realise that the probability that we will drift apart is alarmingly high, though right now it may seem otherwise. But know this: if ever you are in a state like I was(god forbid!!) I wiil be there to catch you. If i am not around and we have drifted,or if i have no idea(i tend to be stupid sometimes and not pick up on this stuff...) find me, track me down, i promise you i will make it worth the effort....

Mind boggling...

This is a book i found on the Dilbrt Blog http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/. It questions just about everything you thought you 'knew'. Its by Scott Adams himself, and is a brilliant piece of writing. Not recommended for youngsters and those with the IQ there of.....
FREE GOD’S DEBRIS E-BOOK
...
Click below to download your free copy, in pdf format.
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http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/
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"I’m giving it away because I found out that most people who read it end up either recommending it or buying the paper version as gifts for other people. Why not get a copy for your laptop, so you have something to read next time you’re traveling? You can’t beat free."- Scott Adams

Mothers!! Who'll ever understand them!?!

Found this in an old folder o mine. Didnt even know i had it. To some it may sound corny, but i happen to be unabashedly attached to my mother. For those of you that share the sentiment.......





When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you abaseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbour's window

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition,drove you to campus,carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dormso you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you...

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling,"Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday. You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder and hellfire.

IF SHE'S ! STILL AROUND, NEVER FORGET TO LOVE HER MORE.. THAN EVER.. AND IF SHE'S NOT, REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PASS IT ON...

To all our beloved NRI's out there...

To all our beloved NRI's out there...
Get your black asses home you motherfuckers!! What makes y'all think y'all can live it up on the outside and tell lovely stories of your beloved homeland while we rot in this shit hole!!

Ok, maybe i'm exaggeratin...NO I'M NOT!!! This place IS a shit hole! To be fair though, i am in goa which is pretty much the pinnacle of western civilisation here...it doesnt get bettter than this, and i know it gets a whole lot worse. Lik for people lik Lok, who have to live in the pockets of resistance to civilisation,(Belgaum, Karnataka. Better known as Yellappa-land.) as he himself so aptly put it. For those of you who havent heard the latest from back home...here are some titbits to bring you upto date, comprised mostly of news items that have caught my attention over the past couple o months.

First off, Laloo LOST!! Ok breathe, i know, the bastard has been in power since we were like 5 yrs old and he finally managed to squander it...social justice my flabby arse!! I mean, everybody thought it was gonna be just another bihari election.........!!

Anyhow, on a more serious note, more along the lines of tragic actually, the supreme court actually went ahead and upheld the ban by the U.P. govt on the slaughter of cows in the state!! When the SC itself starts infringing our freedom, we're in some deep shit!! These are supposed to be educated people whom we trust our civil freedom to and this is what we get. Someone ought to slaughter these sons of bitches!! what kind of 'democracy' are we runnin where we aren't even free to eat what we want!? Fuck your religious sentiments you dickheads, we aren't forcing you to eat it!! And so we succumb to mob rule in this shit hole...

Speaking of bans, i'm sure you all heard of the ban on dance bars in maharashtra...yet another unchallenged revocation of our allegedly fundamental right to practice any trade in any part of the country. There was no legal basis for it, just the reason given for it was the atmosphere of obscenity and vulgarity that was presnt in the estabilishment. What the fuck were you doin in the dance bar, you fuck!! Go home to your fat wife! Let the women dance, let the fuckers gawk, let everyone be! But no! We have to indulge in moral policing because the modesty of the public was being outraged...despite the fact that they were free not to visit the bars!!

While we're on the subjuct of moral policing, allow me to reiterate how glad i am to be in goa....while the shiv sena have single handedly managed to take bombay(i will not call it mumbai!!) back to the stone ages, where even holding hands in public is a crime, and you will be arrested by the police and if you're a girl, raped by them too.(three cases in the past two months:the girl in the chowky at marine drive; the ragpicker girl near sahar airport; the dancebar girl at nerul.)
For a while it looked like the southern states might be our last bastion of freedom, until the Indian Express came out with their exposee on just how the backward tyrannical section of society is terrorising the rest of our people in order to 'maintain the chastity of our culture'.(in chennai, you stand to be arrested for dancin in a club, and everyone heard how the poor couple that indulged in a liplock on the floor were hounded lik they were criminals)

In similar news, two rapists,- i'm sorry, two CONVICTED rapists were let off without jailtime and just probation on 'humanitarian' grounds as they had families to look after (and daughters to rape). Awwww!! Aint that just the sweetest thing you ever heard!! But you aint heard the sweetest part yet...it was the same judge in both cases!! No, you STILL aint heard the sweetest part......wait for it...................wait for it...............................wait for it......................................wait for it....the judge was a WOMAN!! How do you expect to survive when your own kind scheme against you?!

And so, as our people keep killing, maiming and raping each other we all sincerely hope that y'all are havin fun out there...we wish you itchy balls and short hands, as well as periods in the middle of your workday when you're wearing white pants..

love and kisses(abuse and curses)
muaaaaaaaaaaah!

Huh!??

Hey all,
well i'm back, been meaning to update but that has been hindered by two factors.
a) laziness; b)a serious lack of blogworthy stuff, primarily stemming from the fact that i have no life....yay!!

So yeah, 11th was the big 2 one!! Yeah, we are talkin bout my birthday, the grand entrance into adulthood...some grand entrance! Was pretty boring, except for the part where i was invited to spend the summer with my godmother in AUSTRAILIA!! Ha ha ha!! So long suckers!!
Followed by dinner with the clan, which is always an event, considerin the fact that we always eat like kings. And it shows too, four outta six o us are above the 100 kg mark.(Eat your heart out keith!!)

Next day was better, though it started kinda warped. Was saturday night, and i had invited my two closest friends(actually pretty much my only friends) out clubbin. Also did ask another really pretty, alleged 'friend' (you know who you are!!) to be my date for the evenin(the other two happen to be a couple), except, she, not only declines, but actually announces her intension to have her birthday party the same night!! O'course, yours truly was invited, hopefully not outta courtesy(but we'll never know now shall we?!), but she is a real sweetheart(despite what i've been told), and i was glad to oblige.

So plan of action is, make grand :-) if allbeit brief appearance at party, and then go clubbin...BUT
Yes, that was a BUT. Yet another BUT!! Dont you just hate that word!! Anyhow like i was sayin, So plan of action is, make brief appearance at party, and then go clubbin...BUT the old school crew calls up informin me o the rock, blues n jazz jam session that they're holdin....guess when...saturfuckinday!! For months together, nobody's doin anythig and then everybody wants to party on tha same night!! Now this is a real dilemma... judgin from the experience of a few days prior(elaborated in earlier post) the jam is goona be some hella fun.But the final verdict was decided in favour of the clubbin cos the couple has seen me through the shittiest period till date and helped maintain my sanity in their own warped lil way. No offence to the old school, there is not a shred o doubt that help would have been readily rendered(alliteration!! thank you miss yvonne!!) had it been asked for.

So original plan of action was followed through. Party was nice, if uneventful, and we proceeded to go clubbin, with yours truly dateless and destined to enter stag. That was until i learned that the younger sister of the female half of the couple didnt have a date either, or took pity on me(i forget which, though rationally i woud assume the latter...). Now this girl is sixteen, or seventeen...normally it would be pathetic on my part. Except this girl is sinfully hot just lik her older sis(yes dear, i know you love me!!) and phenomenally tall(yes yes, i know you hate me again), and she dances lik her life depends on it!! Total goddess material...and an absolute sweetheart. So yeah, the evenin was well spent dancin with her and gawking at her sisters ass and cleavage.(yes dear, i know, i'm also a pig).
So yeah, not exactly one o the more normal birthdays but probably the best. Thank you to all involved!!
CIAO...

Ol'schoolers

So yeah,
We all have that bunch of wierdos from the past, the ones that we used to hang out with and do stupid shit with...well i fortunately still keep in touch with my old wierdos, except they're all grown up and i'm still stuck in lawschool. One is in his final year of engg, another is a web designer, one a shippee in the merchant navy, one workin for HP(Hewlett Packard, NOT Hindustan Petroleum) and one is in sharjah livin it up on all that lovely muslim food(bastard!!)...

Couple o days back, we went out for a drink and some dinner(dinner, YEAH RIGHT!!) as the shippee is finally back in town after somethin lik 11 months(how does this guy stay sane!!).
so one o the crew says a bunch o our seniors are at this place called ruslters. Now in reality, four o these guys have been hired to play and there are already seven o them jammin there, when we turn up there are a total of eleven o us there. Four guys at a time takin turns on the instruments while the rest occupyin the first two tables, in a permanent rowdy singalong style cheering section. The evenin proceeded in an assortment of rock, jazz, blues, accompanied by lotsa beer and ciggies.. the oooooooooonnnnnnnnnly way to have fun!
Wound up with dinner, and then we decided to harrass the mapusa Baskin Robbins staff. but either clairvoyance on their part or divine providence prompted them not to stay open all night...so we proceeded for a second dinner at a roadside joint. Good food i might add! Well that was just about it apart from a roadside display of our proficiency in peeing and farting at the same time in what we later found out was supposedly a haunted area... And so the moral o the story is...er....um....

Introduction to poison...

S'happenin all!!

So...this would be my first time blogging...inspired by the almighty flatus keith, who introduced me to the blogs of two o his friends, namely hemlyn n mafaz. seriously entertaining! anyhow, i digress...to the uninitiated(and those not smart enough to figure it out), who have no idea what hemlock is, ITS POISON, YOU DUMB FUCKING PRODUCT OF REDNECK INCEST!!!

its what was used to kill(execute) socrates for...guess what...no guesses?...spreading commonsense!! (some ppl would still consider that a crime)but you always get killed when you pioneer anything, like jesus got executed for trying to propagate love...except unlike love, commonsense still hasn't caught on...the thing is, i really relate to socrates, cos i'm butt ugly too and insanely smart!! plus a lotta ppl would love to see my flabby ass executed...

so, coming back to hemlock, i took the blog name off of this thing called the socrates cafe. now this is more of a phenomenon than a club or a group...its kind of an open house meeting, roundtable style, thats held anywhere, libraries, coffee shops, parks...you get the drift. anyone can walk in off of the street and partake in the discussion on the topic at hand, or any question put forward by a participant. (philosophical questions- "when the fuck is dinner?!" doesnt count).

everyone is on first name basis only to maintain a degree of anonymity, and absolutely no job titles are allowed. the latter is done ot ensure that everyone is on an equal footing, i.e. irrelevant of wheteher you are a lawyer, trucker, etc, and arguments are validated based solely on logic and not, on the basis of which rich prick is sayin it. i would love to start somethig like that here in india, but we'd probably just have a whole lotta bhaiyyas comin in and losin it with "Behenchodh!! kya bola bey!! iski maa ki...!!" for all the talk, we are not a very tolerant ppl.

anyhow the hemlock cafe is a lil different. its just another way for me to further inflate my alredy bloated ego by publishing my poisonous thoughts, thereby infecting and brainwashing all you weaker minded individuals out there, facilitating the advent of my inevitable rule over y'all and the rest o the world!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA...KOFF KOFF...MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

wont be posting very often cos lazy kinda goes hand in hand with fat and ugly in this case...but good things come to those who wait ;-)

so, ciao for now,

SOCRATES(wannbe!!)