Forever...

forever.

This is long overdue, and i've been meanin to do this for a long time but i haven't been able to word it to my satisfaction...but here goes. This is a shoutout to the people that have stood by me recently. people that had no obligation towards me, that stepped up when i needed it most, without me ever having to ask for it. Especially the couple mentioned in the prior blog entitled 'huh?'. its been, what, ten months almost!! It all began in march....

Let me start with the feminine half of the couple. No offense to the masculine, but you already know that she knew about it first. I honestly started msgn you only as an escape from the hellhole i was livin in, little did i know that it would work out this nicely (for me atleast!):-) I guess it was the circumstances at the time that helped. you were my escape and i was yours.(i hope) :-) I relate to you in a way and on a level that no one but you would understand. But thanks to you i was dragged out of my petty little existence, and i actually managed to put my tiny little problems into perspective....to think that i was whining about all my self fabricated 'problems' while i had no idea what you were dealing with!! You and yours have had more than anyones share of misfortune and then some! I can only hope for the kind of strength it must take to come through all of that with as much grace and optimism. When my world was fallin apart around me, you were the first and the only one who knew it was. There's no tellin where i'd have been if i didnt have you to talk to every day. There were days when it was all i had to look forward too. Thank you for putting up with the incessant msgn without once losing your patience! This is especially important cos i've had people get exasperated with me before and even jump to their own conclusions. And he'll probably hate me for saying this here and for the umpteenth time, but you've got the most amazing ass i have ever seen on any woman!!

Now on to the man. I dont remember if i explained but i spoke to her first, only cos i needed to talk to someone that was disconnected. I dont remember what prompted me to tell you about it too but i'm glad i did. With all the ribbing and everything, you helped to make sure i never took all this shit too seriously and lose perspective again. Also, it goes against every bone in my body to say this, and i do so grudgingly, but i admire you. Most guys should honestly take a cue from you, for anybody -correction- any guy that still cant take his eyes off of his woman(actually checkin her out!!) when they're out together, after TWO N'A HALF YEARS o being together, is someone worth knowing. (bet all you women are dying to know who this is!!) Kinda reinforces my faith in humanity....I've known couples that were so busy playin manipulative mind games with each other, just for the one-up-manship, in less than that time, that there was very little of the original relationship left. You're one of the few of us who are lucky enough to know what a wonderful woman they have on their hands. Try not to forget. and we both know you only need to screw up once and all bets are off, I'll be there to take your place faster than you can blink!! ;-) And last of all thanks for bein so cool bout the fact that she's such a good friend to me. a lot of people have gotten very paranoid and threatened with me around their women. I have no idea why though, i mean, have these guys noticed that i look like a wierder version of SHREK!?! And thanks for makin me do this by remindin me just how bekar i am all night. And finally man, she probably isn't gonna see this cos she isn't too net savvy, so do me a fav and show it to her when you get the chance? Thanks.

Anyhow, you two have pretty much have saved me from what would probably have been a terminal depression, or a serious drinkin problem. My world fell apart around me and you guys picked up the pieces for me. Everything i thought i 'knew' about so many people was revoked in an instant and you reinforced the fact that people are basically nice. Probably nice, anyway...
Its cos o y'all that i actually managed to muster up the courage to end my self imposed exile from the social circuit. Today i'm in a place where i no longer wish for my old life back....I realise how much better off i am now. I have no idea when i got here but I realised it only that sat night at titos. It dawns on me that i'd have had a good time even if she had shown up along with that prick. Especially since i had junior as my date!! ;-D

Now on to the other person. I don't think anyone even knew you were there for me! All the invites for those saturday nights have not been forgotten. They meant a lot! But you do know i had my reasons for refusing. It was nice to know that someone still cared that i wasn't around. That conversational allnighter played a great part in helping me let go of the past. You're a lot smarter than people give you credit for, especially in reference to the way you noticed that lil incident in may that we talked about. I was so sure that no one did. Thank you.

Also a shoutout to Keith, the smartest (and wierdest) man i have ever known. You, allbeit unwittingly, provided an escape from all this with the constant forwards and email updates, despite hardly ever gettin a reply from me. It didnot go unnoticed and will always be appreciated.

To all of you, I am here today, hale, hearty and headstrong as a result of your efforts. But I still have not been able to let go completely and there are fleeting moments when I do lose sight off all the good that you have brought about. I am still weak, and if by some freak of nature i should fall back, please forgive me. I know what its like to save a friend from something only to have them walk right into it again as soon as you're not around, and make you look like an idiot for sayin and doin what you did. And if you decided to walk, i'd understand, though it wouldn't change a thing here.

To all of you, i'd like to say that we'll be together forever, but ten months ago i would have said the same about other people. I know better now, and i realise that the probability that we will drift apart is alarmingly high, though right now it may seem otherwise. But know this: if ever you are in a state like I was(god forbid!!) I wiil be there to catch you. If i am not around and we have drifted,or if i have no idea(i tend to be stupid sometimes and not pick up on this stuff...) find me, track me down, i promise you i will make it worth the effort....