Morals...Storm In A Teacup?

First off, you need to know this has no relation to the previous post entitled "To all our beloved NRI's out there."

Secondly, My apologies to the readers, cos i started this blog to post actual intellectual debates and discussions, but of late i have been using it to a personal effect. Well, its still my blog, and i can do what i want with it, so, any o you that have a problem with that, can take your prob, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways (for max effect) and shove it up your arses!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Fuckers!

Hmmm....Now that i got that outta my system...This is more along the lines of Personal Morals...Let me give you a situation: Your friend is studyin out of station. Pretty close friend, maybe best. More or less decent guy. He asks you to look after his girl cos he's not around most o the time...And you indulge. Dangerous situation, no doubt, (she happens to be very, VERY hot!! Not the hottest but definitely top five...)but how do you say no to him!?!

So it begins, The couple of nights out that you take her along at his request....Then the msgs(dont you just love sms!?) back and forth(actual conversations, not fuckall forwards) and you begin to realise that she isn't the boring lil woman you thought she was. Not just another rich, spoilt socialite. There's actual brains under that wig! Then one day, msgs aren't enough, so you call. Hell you're sick of msgs anyway, you wanna see what she sounds like.....and the conversations continue....and you realise you relate to this girl better than anyone before her....she understands what you're sayin where almost everyone else is lost, she loves the same cartoons you did as a kid, the same tastes, likes, dislikes. Then one day while you're comparing nursery rhymes from kindergarten, reciting them aloud to each other...it slowly dawns on you...you're in love with her. Whispered warnings from other friends replay in your head. You've actually manged to fall in love with this woman over the phone!! How fucking dumb are you!!

Now comes the hard part... what do you do?!? Turn and run right? But he's not goin out with her anymore...actually its been more than a year since they broke up...oh sure, they're still rather good friends, but they did break up!! So now what!? Ask her out? You know you're dying to! Now she's the most beautiful woman you know(in real life anyway...). so whats stopping you? But what about him? He's a good friend too. And he was in love with her too. Probably still is,(He did ask you to look after her, didnt he? That must mean he still cares...right?) who can tell? Wouldnt that be an abuse of his trust? A knife in the back even?

So what do you do? You start playing Devils Advocate for him. Keep explainin away his mistakes, maybe she'll wanna get back together with him. Anything to justify you're presence here. Anything to ease your guilt, for having fallen for her. O'course you've never laid a finger on her, and you know you never will, but still.....
This is where you should walk out...explain it to her....she'll understand....she has always been very understanding.....right? But she accuses you of picing him over her if they ever had a fight. You know she's wrong. You need to stay to prove her wrong. But you need to leave to stay alive, cos this is very self destructive. But you cant!! You cant get out. You cant move on with your life. You cant even look at another woman cos of this irrational sense of disloyalty that smothers you with guilt everytime you do. So you stay. Neither here nor there. You cant 'have' her, but you can still keep her around. You'll never get 'there' with her, but you still love the way you feel when you're with her. Just bein around her is such a fucking thrill!! And you realise what a dope addict must feel like...kinda like a diseased lung...you know it is what is holding you back, you'll never be able to run free, but its also whats keeping you alive.

So back to the question at hand...how far do your morals really go? Its easier to say whats right and wrong when we have nothing to lose. But when you stand to lose the thing you want most at that moment? What about when everythin's goin against you because of your so called morals? Righteousness comes with a burden...maybe its easier to go with the crowd....your life would be a whole lot more fun. After all, whats a lil lost sleep compared to havin your dreams come true? Maybe you should have just picked her over him...she is closer to you now... you're not that close to him anymore....you've drifted. Maybe I'm just full of shit...

Fuck this shit...

(This has no reference to the couple mentioned in prior blog 'forever' This is another real couple though. Comments are requested.)